I am concerned about how fat I’m feeling. It’s not just in my head either. My clothes are tight, I’m uncomfortable, I’m lethargic, quietly sad. All the signs are there. I’m packing on the weight and not treating myself well. Ironically I think about my weight, my fitness, food and exercise all the time. I’m just not doing anything about it, other than over-eating, wearing the same outfits ad nauseum, feeling dumpy.

I’m putting a lot of stock in turning things around after my trip. No more excuses. I’ll have my new membership at the gym a few blocks from Dave’s and I’ll need a serious overhaul in how I eat. All these food court lunches and overeating evenings are seriously depressing me.

So I overate at lunch and have been feeling bloated ever since. Of course I still maganed to eat a sugar cookie for a snack a few hours later and still feel so full.

What is it about this feeling that brings me back here time and again? It’s familiar and sad and so cumbersome. And I feel the happy fit lively girl in me getting quieter and sadder. I need to shake off these blues, these pounds and these tired clothes!